Saturday, June 13, 2009

Domestic Goddess and the haunting of George

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last Confession.....

Actually, this Confession is not THAT late. Only a couple of hours or so. Its just that I've been forced to go shopping.

Its George you see. He's been up to his tricks. In a supernatural kind of way.....

For those who haven't yet been introduced, George is my ironing basket. We have a history together. He is a vindictive little bugger too. And he even operates from the The Other Side.

You see, I no longer actually have George. He is gone. Missing. Presumed to be in the Great Laundry in the Sky. It happened like this.....

I took our latest load of ironing to George's nemesis - The Al Farah Nour Automatic Laundry. It was starting to overtake my dining room again, so something had to be done. And we had to have something in which to carry the stuff to Al Farah Nour. So we used George. And left him in the care of The Ironing Man.

And then, just like that, he disappeared. We suspect the Ironing Man either a) broke him or b) passed him on to another unsuspecting Domestic Goddess. Either way, he is gone.

My reaction? "Free! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"

But I was wrong. First of all, it wasn't free. It cost 71 dirhams to get the ironing done. And second of all, I wasn't free of George.

He reached out from Beyond the Laundry Curtain, and touched my life yet again. Again, using his Right-Hand Appliance, the Russell Hobbs iron.

Russell has been in on the act since the beginning. And decided that if George was gone, then he would go too. In a blaze of glory. And that's what Russell did. He exploded in my hands while I was ironing my daughter's school dress.

Sparks, flames, smoke, burning electric smell and one dead iron. It was an altogether shocking experience.

I've replaced Russell. I 've bought a Black & Decker iron. Black & Deckers are sensible pieces of equipment. For one thing, they know they are mere appliances, and have no pretensions of being designer anything. They are pure function, no frills. You can't get more solid than a Black & Decker.

But I've yet to replace George. I'm too scared.....

Who knows what else he will do from Beyond the Laundry Curtain..... (insert eerie Twilight Zone music here)

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